Secret Revealed: Now We Know the Person in Dick Cheney’s Sunglasses

A few days back a bunch of news junkies like myself were trying to identify the naked woman in Dick Cheney’s sunglasses. While some think they found the answer (some even had the notion to suggest it was just a hand casting a fly rod), I got unconfirmed sources from within the Clinton camp that on the day in question, Hillary Clinton was not campaigning. Instead it’s rumored she looking for a way to get in touch with her base, reaching for booze and guns. This source, of course, asked to remain anonymous, so as to retain their unpaid position with the campaign.

You see here though, considering how I’m a high-class journalist, drawing cartoons, and poking fun, I couldn’t let this story just fly over. So I had to do some some field work. Instead of heading down to the tabloid stand (where I do most my initial research) I decided to open up Photoshop, zoom into that photo of Dick’s sunglasses (seen below) and really dive into what was in those glasses. What you have here (seen above) is an exact representation of what I saw (minus a few pixels here’n there).

It’s quite scandalous, if I must say, but makes perfect sense.

Note: I submitted this story to all the big media outlets, but haven’t heard back yet. Perhaps I should post it over at the DailyKos?