Who the Hell Gets Polled Anyway?

Up. Down. Swing Around. Poll Dancing Explained.

Obama’s in trouble. Registered voters are now switching to McCain. Will he be back up by Friday?

Or will he drop again?

If you’re like me and you follow the daily tracking pulls such as the Gallup and the Rassmussen poll, you’re likely to get confused. How is it that people change their minds so often? I know that despite my candidate’s missteps I don’t change my mind…unless of course it’s revealed that he slept with his videographer or something.

As I’ve been working my way through The History of Western Philosophy (by Bertrand Russell) I figure this is a situation where we need to call on the wisdom of Socrates (complete BS of course, as Socrates and Plato weren’t necessarily fond of democracy and therefore would probably not enjoy polling in the first place).

5 Ways to Get Polled

The question “Who is Polled?” is a matter of deduction. A few things must be established and I’m going to attempt to answer them in completely biased fashion.

1. You must answer the phone despite the fact that you do not recognize the number on caller-ID. Or you do not have caller ID. Or you’re very lonely and would just like to have someone to talk pass a few minutes with.

2. You have to have found justification to have both a land line and a cellphone…which means your either use dial-up or DSL, or you’d swore you’d never use a cellphone because the government can listen in, or you’re concerned you might have to call 911 when you have the dreaded no bars.

3. You have to be unemployed, retired, or a stay a home parent. You could be all three, but that means number 4 would negate you’re chance at being polled.

4. You have to have nothing to do. Seriously, who wants to answer a series of question? And if you do want to answer a series of questions, it’s likely your interested in skewing the results to make a point.

5. Lastly, you’ll need to watch C-SPAN, FOX News, American Idol, be swayed by advertising but swear that you’re not, be scare of terrorists but more scared of the economy, remember one liners, have a disdain for nuanced diplomacy….

I hope I’ve answered all your questions about who get’s polled and why, and if you think you have something to add…please help me out.

Thanks. ISM