Kathleen Parker, Smearest of Them All

A Soft Focused Smear Tactician from the Right

Kathleen Parker has an opinion piece over at the Washington Post that hits Obama hard on his abortion stance. As normally is the case, I have to do a Google search to find out that Kathleen Parker is a right-wing smear tactician disguised beneath the title “Syndicated Columnist”. Take the google search farther, and you get yourself a nice, soft-focused head-shot of the Rove diva herself. (I’ve reprinted it with a bit more soft focus since I didn’t have permission from the Washington Post.)

My contention with Kathleen Parker and the Washington Post is how she’s presented. The Washington Post has typically been a paper that is balanced, if not a bit more liberal. Why is this slime’s words being reprinted as a “balanced” opinion? I have no idea.

Fair and Balanced Assessment?

Of her supposed fair assessment of Barack’s abortion stance:

It is probably fair to say that Obama does not favor infanticide, though his position on the Illinois bill was extreme even by pro-choice standards. But Obama’s current problem isn’t really about his position on abortion. It is about his central weakness as a presidential candidate: He over thinks and ends up seeming not to know what he thinks.

She takes a nuanced stance on abortion, a difficult issue to reconcile by anyone except by the far-right, and applies it to Obama’s candidacy as a whole. She confuses “over thinking” with balance, “not-knowing” with empathy and listening, as if a President has to be rigid and settle on their own rightness, without considering other perspectives.

George W Bush Fascination Explained

This explains why Republicans elected George W Bush twice despite a failed war. It also explains why a candidate such as John McCain has remade himself into a persona he doesn’t even recognize. No wonder he’s acting like he’s lost.

UPDATE SEPTEMBER 25 2008: I feel like I should correct my statement a little bit against Kathleen Parker. I’m a fair person, and I normally don’t agree with Conservative commentators very often, but Kathleen wrote today, suggestion Palin should resign. I agree with this. Mark one up for Kathleen Parker.

UPDATE OCTOBER 14 2008: So now I feel like this entire post has been repudiated and I have a new respect for Kathleen Parker. So this post has been struck.

Secret Revealed: Now We Know the Person in Dick Cheney’s Sunglasses

A few days back a bunch of news junkies like myself were trying to identify the naked woman in Dick Cheney’s sunglasses. While some think they found the answer (some even had the notion to suggest it was just a hand casting a fly rod), I got unconfirmed sources from within the Clinton camp that on the day in question, Hillary Clinton was not campaigning. Instead it’s rumored she looking for a way to get in touch with her base, reaching for booze and guns. This source, of course, asked to remain anonymous, so as to retain their unpaid position with the campaign.

You see here though, considering how I’m a high-class journalist, drawing cartoons, and poking fun, I couldn’t let this story just fly over. So I had to do some some field work. Instead of heading down to the tabloid stand (where I do most my initial research) I decided to open up Photoshop, zoom into that photo of Dick’s sunglasses (seen below) and really dive into what was in those glasses. What you have here (seen above) is an exact representation of what I saw (minus a few pixels here’n there).

It’s quite scandalous, if I must say, but makes perfect sense.

Note: I submitted this story to all the big media outlets, but haven’t heard back yet. Perhaps I should post it over at the DailyKos?

OMG…Barack Obama’s Not Wearing a Lapel Flag Pin

When a candidate’s struggling to bring their message to the public in a MSM (mainstream media) that’s controlled by the inevitable, preordained winner of the Democratic Primary, Hillary Clinton and her support monger Rupert Murdoch, what makes big news? On the same week Barack Obama tries to state his views on Iraq, the foreign policy mistake that Hillary never should have voted for, but did, not because of her leadership, but her unwillingness to break from a crowd, and on the same week that Obama states his goal of eliminating the world’s nuclear weapons arsenals…what makes big news?

Yes. The big news of the day is, “OBAMA DOESN’T WEAR A LAPEL FLAG PIN“. Actually the story is he doesn’t wear the pin to demonstrate his patriotism, or he did at one time, but after 9/11 he doesn’t because…why is this in the news?

This story will be everywhere. And it’s a pathetic indication of how shallow the MSM can be.

Women and children killed in Iraq….but Obama doesn’t wear a pin.

Does Hillary wear a pin? Doesn’t matter, ‘cuz she sometimes shows cleavage and cackles.

Don’t wear a lapel pin Barack. Keep true to your convictions. Keep laughing Hillary (although it truly is a scary laugh).

Did I just go there?

Who knows, this might actually be a turning point. More people seem to support Obama on this position than his positions on health care, foreign policy, and the contractors in Iraq.

(P.S. Since I believe more journalists should just come out and say what candidate they are for, and because it’s sad when truth is under the thin veil of objectivism, I’m saying it….I support Barack.)

A Tribute to the Birds of Captivity - Alex (1976 - 2007)

This Friday’s Drawing for a Reader is a bit different. It’s for Alex, the notorious bird brain African Gray parrot. Alex never requested this drawing, and I’m sure if he did surf the web and find it, he’d probably disagree. I like to think he was a bit of a skeptic when it came to studies and research.

That said, when a normal African Gray Parrot can reach up to 70 years of age, with an average lifespan of 50 (almost the same as humans when unaided with medicine) then I’m led to think research and the stress of captivity might in some way contributed to his untimely death.

Yes, this is coming from a monkey who lives most of his life in an astronaut suit. Take it with whatever amount of bird seed you require.

Easy Boy, Britney’s Not Hot No More

Remember the Pepsi commercial with Bob Dole? Those were the good old days of politics. No wars to protest, or George W Bush to battle. Just an ample dose of Viagra, cola…and of course Britney Spears.

By they way, did you know she was back? Me neither. But I guess she showed up at the MTV Awards in Vegas and performed miserably. I actually feel a bit sorry for the girl. One of the biggest criticisms of her performance…her less than rock solid abs. Geez, aren’t we shallow Americans. I’m sure a majority of us would trade our current abs for her less than solid abs any day. (UPDATE: I hadn’t watched the MTV Awards so I’d only seen a photo of her current abs. I watched this clip on CNN of Britney’s Performance and I take back my earlier statement. She does has abs like the rest of us - the only difference, we don’t get on stage and try to dance in front of millions….oh it’s sad.)

Anyway, enjoy a trip down memory lane and watch the ol’ Britney Pepsi commercial with Bob Dole.

The Purge Is Working Condi! Exclaims George Bush

“You mean, surge, Mr. President.”

“Ah, yeah, right, surge. Did I say purge?”

“It’s no big deal really.”

“Purge surge. Surge purge. That’s kinda gotta funny ring to it.”

“Just as long as you keep it straight when we get off the plane in Sydney.”

Ah yes. Why not start with a fictitious exchange between George W Bush and Condoleezza Rice?

For the next few months both sides of the isle are going to be parroting the Pres. “The surge is working. The surge is working.” Each one a bitty bit afraid of standing up for what’s really going on.

Well, I’d say, the purge is proving more effective than the surge. In the last month 1800 Iraqis were killed. In the month prior, over 1800 again. This doesn’t even consider the number of Iraqis displaced, estimated at close to 4 million. And how many Iraqi’s have we welcomed in our outstretched arms of patina. Yes, less than 200…

So of course, the surge-purge is working.

Tony Snow Knows Poor and Feels Your Pain

Tony Snow, White House spokesman, to step down, according to sources (from CNN August 17). Tony Snow revealed his intentions to Hugh Hewitt, a talk-show host, that financial reasons may prevent him from completing the remainder of the Bush presidency.

I’m sure this will touch some. We can all relate to how hard it is to raise a family under the Bush administration. Imagine only making $168,000 a year.

So remember, Tony Snow feels your pain.

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